Finding synergy between our various roles in life can be challenging, but it is an essential aspect of achieving fulfillment. Here are 5 steps that will help:
1. Clearly define your values and priorities.
This will help you determine what roles are most important to you and how you want to allocate your time and energy.
This is perhaps the most important activity. Are our roles aligned as per our values? Have we spent enough time to understand what our values are?
One example of this could be a person who is deeply committed to environmental causes taking a job as a Petroleum Engineer at a large oil and gas company. This person may find that their values are not aligned with the company's actions and may struggle to reconcile their beliefs with their role in promoting the company's interests. As a result, they may experience feelings of guilt and dissatisfaction in their work, which could negatively impact their overall well-being and relationships.
Hence choose roles that align with your values. Act as per your fundamental values.
2. Communicate your roles and expectations to the people in your life. This includes family, friends, and coworkers.
Every role (or at least most roles) that you take up will have certain stakeholders to deal with. Hence it is important to communicate your expectations so that there is clear understanding. This will help you to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts
One personal example
One of my roles is that of a caring friend. However, due to my other roles I do not always have the time to spend on leisure activities with my friends. It is clearly conveyed that I am there for them in times of need but not so much to watch the latest movie on weekend.
3. Set boundaries and learn to say no to things that do not align with your roles and priorities.
This is super important.
It helps you to avoid regrets in the future. If you keep saying yes to things that are not a priority for you, you may end up regretting it in the future. Saying "no" to non-priority things can help you avoid this and make better use of your time and energy.
And remember this
Every time you say “yes” to something, by default you are saying “no” to something else.
A classic example of this
Saying ‘yes’ to a late night booze party is saying ‘no’ to the early morning run you may have planned for. This is not to say that you don’t party late at night but the more pertinent question is - whether it was a well thought conscious choice.
4. Be Agile - that is to be flexible and adaptable. Life is constantly changing, and your roles may need to change as well.
As we grow our aspirations change and hence it is ok to change roles accordingly. Rather it is important to change roles as per your shifting world view. More often than not people get stuck with previous commitments which they no longer feel the need in the present. This is called sunk cost effect (or fallacy).
One naive, and yet common, example of this is clinging on to cycles of short life relationships/flings when one is actually progressing to value long lasting partnership.
Also, note that our values change as we progress in life. Reflect on your roles and responsibilities regularly, assess if they still align with your current priorities and make changes as needed. This doesn’t mean you let go off any previous skillset or interests. Rather find smart ways to leverage them to new endeavors.
Personal example of this.
4 years back I didn’t give a thought about justice. Now it is an important value and that led to me becoming an Animal Rights activist and content creator. In doing so, I had to reprioritise. I was very fond of camera work - loved photography. I even made some Rs 20-30k per month through it as a side gig. But due to my new commitment, I had to let go of photography gigs. But I still love the art of photography, editing, and telling a story using my camera. I transferred that skillset to my content creation.
5. Practice self-care and make sure to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being
Often we take our health for granted. Let me tell you this. If health is not there then nothing is possible. Think of the day when you were sick. All motivation goes out of the window.
Take immense care of the body (including mind).
Truly insightful!💚